3D Vision Suckage

As most of you know by now considering all the Garden propaganda that naturally focuses on anything else but tomorrow's meaningless showdown between the Islanders and Rangers, Wednesday March 24 is the first ever 3D televised hockey game. With nothing else to talk about, MSG has milked this for all its worth, inviting fans who aren't disgraced to purchase tickets for 20 a pop at the "Exclusive" Viewing Party in WAMU Theater.

Much like the gates which don't open at 6 due to lame security losers who like to bust our balls (no joke), it's scheduled to open at the same time where they probably won't act like douches because that only seems to apply to us loyal suckers inside the World's Most Mediocre Arena. Be that as it may, it does sound like an ultra cool concept for interested puckers to see our sucky team battle the only true rival for draft position. Tonight's Bruins' 4-0 dethroning of Atlanta pretty much guarantees our first playoff miss post-lockout, returning us to the Dark Ages. I've already gone on record as guaranteeing no postseason for next year as well because I fail to see how it can be fixed enough to compete. Derek Stepan, Chris Kreider and the rest of our prospects better pan out or we're looking at another lengthy stay on the golf course.

None of this will stop talking heads like Al Rotwig, John Giannone and Joe Micheletti from going on and on about how "totally awesome" the Rangers and Islanders look in 3D. Unless you attend the Viewing Party which will as usual celebrate our past with special guests Mark Messier, Adam Graves, Ron Greschner, Ron Duguay, Nick Fotiu and poor Dark Ages victim Dan Blackburn, you'll likely get shutout. According to the official team site, the only other way to catch this Garden exclusive is to already own 3D TV sets. Cablevision subscribers will be allowed to view it on a separate MSG channel. Not really sure what that entails but my guess is you'll find out somehow.

As for us, we'll be in our normal 411 seats bagging on this latest sham that covers up how embarrassing the season has been. To not make the playoffs in such a pathetic conference speaks for itself. With any luck depending on my schizo pc which seems on the verge of a nervous breakdown (haha), I'll have the recap of another sleepless night. Likely one of my last in the building with the April Flyer game probably the end of a 14-year run. Well, counting my first ever hockey game which was a 2-1 overtime win over the Red Wings on my birthday thanks to Brian Leetch setting up Pat Verbeek, it's 14 and a half years.

If this is really it, I will miss the enthusiasm from our section along with some of the greatest fans the sport has who live and die with this team. I'm biased but 411 has the best hockey fan who I'll put up against anybody. If he were running our team, we wouldn't be in this predicament. It's the regulars who have made it such an enjoyable experience. Even if there haven't been a lot of huge moments sans Michal Rozsival's triple overtime Game 3 winner and the five-game revenge on Marty, it's always been a blast. I can't thank the people around us enough. I'll also miss warm-ups, greeting opposing broadcasters, John Amirante and of course viewing the game from all the way at the top because there's nothing like taking it in live while watching plays develop. You can't get that as much sitting up close nor the energy the true diehards bring. I'll also miss the ushers who do their best and usually with a smile unlike the loser Dolan security who think they own the place, doing so by emulating Scrooge. Yeah. Anyone who's seen those two ugly dirtbags knows who I'm referring to.

Regardless, a special thank you to my Dad for making it all possible. You have always been there for me and Justin. Even when times got tough, you've always understood and gotten it. For that, I can never repay you. For Jazzy Jim, tomorrow may be about 3D Vision Suckage but for us, it's about being able to watch/enjoy the game in your company along with Just's pal Mike.

Happy Birthday Dad! Don't forget to make a wish and blow out the candles when we get home. :-)